Sunday, December 10, 2006

I'm standing on the edge of me

Nothing quite so dramatic, but I'm listening to "On Fire" by Switchfoot and I love that line.
Haha, my iTunes shuffle just went to "Rhythm of the Night". Does that mean something?

Anyway. One of the people in my small group at the retreat I went to last weekend said something that has been so true this week. He said that in high school, you see people for a few hours every day, and then everyone goes home and has time to unwind. Here, you people all the time, in all different moods. Being frustrated, or exhausted, or depressed is much harder to hide in such close quarters. Everyone's stressing over finals. Some are sick, too, which totally sucks. We're all pulling hours pouring over textbooks and doing practice exams. I think that most of us know somewhere in the back of our minds that ten years from now, our scores on these finals won't really matter, but you wouldn't be able to tell that from how seriously we're taking the goings-on of next week.

It's like standing on the edge of a cliff. We've studied and studied and wish that it we could just JUMP, already.

And all of that tension and anxiety and impatience inevitably finds its relief through annoyance with others. Interaction right now is kinda like walking over ice while having no clue how thick it is. It could break at any time.

Yeah, we're going to need that month-long break. Badly.

In other news, Notre Dame is in the Sugar Bowl, but I didn't get a ticket from the lottery. I was divided over whether I wanted to go anyway- I had no clue how I would get there, it would be a big expensive hassle, I've already had the best away game experience ever (yesss I so swam in Spartan stadium on 9/23/06), and I've never watched a game with my family. It all worked out for the best. Go Irish!

Final bit of news... I got into the SSLP program through the Center for Social Concerns. Meaning that I will spend eight weeks of my summer somewhere in the US immersed in a non-profit, working with the poor and disadvantaged every day. I'm scared out of my mind, but I want to do this so much. As Maria noted in her post today, I know I'll learn way more from them than I could give to them. I still have to do a placement interview to find out where I'll be. This is probably the most adventurous, taking-it-on-faith thing I've ever done, but it feels right. I feel as called to this as I have to everything else that's been a right choice in my life. But at the same time, I'm only human and- eek.

Do you know what you are getting yourself into?

I'm getting into you, because you got to me
In a way words can't describe.
I'm getting into you, because I've got to be
You're essential to survive.
-
Relient K, "Getting Into You"

1 comment:

  1. I admire you for doing that; our older daughter wants to do something similiar--and it's just as scary, if not more so for the parents!

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