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I thought this deserved a post instead of a lurking comment.
Margaret: "I do wish you would talk about your feelings about the priesthood."

In retrospect, I shouldn't have even mentioned it if I didn't want to talk about it, huh? Without going into particulars, I've had doubts about whether priests (specifically of the Roman Catholic variety, as that's my denomination of choice) can ever really be celibate. Which I suppose comes down to a discussion of whether God's grace is powerful enough to help them to overcome their sexual tendencies. It's not so much a logical argument as an emotional and personal one.

Oh good grief. I hate being vague. Without sharing too many details, a priest made me feel deeply uncomfortable right before I left for college. I'm still backpedaling. For a while, I took out my sense of betrayal from this one priest on all priests, and treated my theo prof pretty horribly at the beginning of the semester, poor guy. I'm past that stage, fortunately, but I'm not at the point of casual comfortable conversation with priests yet. It's an awkward place to be for a practicing Roman Catholic.

Too funny not to blog about

God has been messing with me again. I was given the choice of taking my theology final or talking to the priest/professor for half an hour. I can SO see Jesus' smirk. Good grief.

I survived the interview.

( I suppose this wouldn't be funny unless you know about my recent unhappiness with the priesthood in general... but this isn't really the place to talk about that. Sorry )

I'm off to go write Christmas cards now, er, I mean study. Notre Dame (and most schools) do this awesome thing wherein they give us a couple of days off before finals. I have Christmas music on, a warm room, and pretty cards. I'm excited.

Don't feel compelled to read this. I got bored.

All about yourself...the survey.
All about yourself...
First name?::	Laura
Middle name?::	Elizabeth
Like your name?::	yes, but I think it's funny how my parents gave me and my brother their names as our middle names :-P
Named after anyone?::	not technically, but the name Laurent is pretty popular on my dad's side of the family
Any nicknames?::	not particularly
Age?::	18
Birthdate?::	8/19/1988
Birthplace?::	Rockdale Hospital
Time you were born?::	um... in the evening? 6 something?
Current location?::	dorm room
Height?::	5'6"
Like your height?::	yup
Eye color?::	blue gray
Contacts/glasses?::	nope
Hair color?::	reddish blondish brownish
Natural hair color?::	yup
Dye your hair often?::	never
Righty or lefty?::	righty
Your favorite...
Type of music?::	rock/alternative
Band or singer?::	oof. Relient K
TV show?::	Star Trek Voyager, closely followed by MASH
Movie?::	Life is Beautiful
TV channel?::	I don't watch enough TV to have a favorite
Radio station?::	I never listen to the radio now that I'm not driving
Place to be?::	with happy people who care about me
Thing to do?::	laugh
Food?::	ChickFilA fries
Non alcoholic drink?::	most things starbucks
Alcoholic drink?::	I wouldn't know, now would I?
Animal?::	tie between panda bear and penguin
Holiday?::	Triduum
Season?::	Lent; secularly speaking, spring
Sport?::	soccer when not in ND football season
Place to shop?::	used bookstores
Clothing brand?::	Old Navy
Scent?::	the Boy's cologne
Restaurant?::	oh good grief. anything italian, I can't narrow that down
Fruit?::	apple
Vegetable?::	corn and carrots
Fast food restaurant?::	ChickFilA!!!!!
Pizza topping?::	lotsa cheese
Ice cream flavor?::	cookies & cream
Magazine?::	the Economist
City?::	DC
Color?::	navy blue
Number?::	3
This or that...
Chocolate or vanilla?::	chocolate
Pepsi or coke?::	coke! I'm from GA!
Hot or cold?::	hot
Black or white?::	black
Dog or cat?::	dog
French toast or pancakes?::	pancakes, with chocolate chips
French fries or onion rings?::	french fries! from chickfila
Hamburger or hot dog?::	hamburger w/ cheese from the varsity
Pepperoni or sausage?::	... neither? I'll go for real german sausage though
Britney or Christina?::	yuck. Virgin Mary?
McDonalds or Burger King?::	yuck. Chickfila
50 Cent or Eminem?::	yuck. I don't even have an alternative for this one.
Canada or Mexico?::	Cananda, as it's the home of one of my best friends
Hug or kiss?::	... that would have depend on the giver of said affectionate motion
Movies or TV?::	movies
Truth or dare?::	truth!
Do you...
Shower daily?::	not ususally, more like every other day
Sing in the shower?::	nope
Like to sing?::	yes
Like to dance?::	very much so, when I know how to well
Smoke?::	ugh no
Drink?::	not yet
Cuss?::	not when I can help it
Talk to yourself?::	hahaha oh yes
Believe in yourself?::	I believe in God's power to work through the imperfect being that is me.
Play an instrument?::	Learning guitar
Go to school?::	yup
Go to college?::	yup
Have a job?::	yup!
Like your job?::	don't know, haven't started yet
Want to get married?::	yup, if its in God's plan
Want to have kids?::	yup, if it's in God's plan
Get along with your parents?::	mostly, more so now that I hardly ever see them
Get along with your siblings?::	mostly. sometimes. on good days.
Drive?::	when I have a car... i.e. when I'm home
Random...
Do you think you're trustworthy?::	yes
Think your funny?::	hahaha not really, but I try so hard that my attempts are funny
Ever toilet papered someones house?::	nope
Gone garbage can tipping?::	nope
What are your parents names?::	Jim and Elizabeth
Siblings names?::	Mark
Do you wash your hands frequently?::	not that frequently...
How many time a day do you brush your teeth?::	1
Collect anything?::	receipts and tickets and other little things from fun outings
Ever been in love?::	yes
In love right now?::	yes
What color pants are you wearing right now?::	khaki
How does your hair look?::	in a pony tail, frizzy because I walked through falling snow without a hat on
Ever had your heartbroken?::	yup
Ever broken the law?::	I honestly don't think so. good grief, I need to get on that.
Been arrested?::	no
Been out of the country?::	Germany/Switzerland/Austria when I was in 8th grade, Canada numerous times, bahamas
Can you stick your fist in your mouth?::	no
When was the last time you got drunk?::	... never?
Do you do drugs?::	nope, aside from caffeine
When was the last time you were high on anything?::	never have been. this survey is pretty much an examination of how innocent I am.
Do you prefer the lights on or off?::	off unless I'm reading or trying to stay awake
Would you ever get plastic surgery?::	not unless necessary for health
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?::	um. not my problem.
Do you like to laugh?::	very much so
Ever had a bloody nose?::	hasn't everyone?
Have you ever caught a fish?::	yes
What was the last thing you ate?::	a churro
What time do you go to bed?::	varies, usually before 1
What's your favorite color?::	haven't we been through this already? navy blue
Do you like to give or recieve?::	both are important
Are you obsessed with anything/anyone?::	not that I can think of
Do you live alone?::	nope, I live in a dorm
Do you own a blender?::	no
Do you like the snow?::	I'm learning to
Ever been up a mountain?::	yeah, various mountains in the Smokeys and the Alps
Ever been rootin'?::	no.
Do you like surprises?::	most of the time
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

the very hairs on my head are numbered

So, I've basically determined that stress from end of classes/ finals can spill over into every other area of life and make me pretty hard to live with. Sorry about that.

In better news: My one conclusion from the retreat I went on last weekend was that I suck at praying, and I really need to work on it. I determined that the best way of doing so was getting a spiritual director on campus, who could point me to good literature on the subject, and I would have a fine time getting to know God. Conveniently, it won't work logistics-wise for me to find a spiritual director until january, seeing as how this semester's about to end and then I'll be home for a month. So I happily put that particular goal on the back burner. You know how God has a sense of humor? Get this: a seminarian (now deacon) I met on xanga via my old blog years ago (we're talking freshman in highschool) went on my xanga and commented, asking me to email him. I did. He said that he'd been talking with another seminarian who happens to know me (they're both across the world in ROME, btw) and my name had come up. This other seminarian had thought that I was going through some rough times spiritually, and said so. So this seminarian I haven't talked to in years wrote me a long email asking if he could be of any help to me in my spiritual journey, if nothing else as someone to bounce questions off of. Um. So much for my lack of anyone to talk to about how to pray. Then, that night, I (for the first time ever) had about an hour of free time and decided to start one of the many books I brought to college with me. Hiding in a corner of my bookshelf were a few books that I bought at the bookstore at the Basilica in D.C. last winter. I kind of went crazy and bought whatever I thought would interest me. I haven't actually looked at any of them that much. One of them is called Prayer for Beginners by Peter Kreeft. In the introduction, Kreeft says that he himself is still a beginner at prayer, and this book is for those, like him, who feel that they are not good at praying but desire to become much better at it. It makes a lot of sense so far. I'm taking it slowly and hoping to let it sink in.

Um, wow. Way to go, God. Points for being on top of things. And yes, I'll still get a spiritual director next semester (or else some random person might just walk up to me and offer their services as such).

P.S. Zed has totally flatlined. The heat got to be too much for the poor guy, but we can't have the windows open when it hasn't gotten above freezing all week (to my knowledge). His stalks have slumped and his leaves are droopy. All of his flower heads have long since dried up. Water runs straight through him into his little water collecting plate, even though I pour the water in gradually and at different places. He's dead. Just as well, really, because I have no way of caring for him over my month-long break. Still, it's sad.

P.P.S. I guess I haven't mentioned it on here, but I got a job! With the Notre Dame Music Department, involving some office work and lots of running recitals. Weekend hours, but that's probably good for me. I'm excited. Even more so now that all of the nasty tax forms for it are done.