the very hairs on my head are numbered

So, I've basically determined that stress from end of classes/ finals can spill over into every other area of life and make me pretty hard to live with. Sorry about that.

In better news: My one conclusion from the retreat I went on last weekend was that I suck at praying, and I really need to work on it. I determined that the best way of doing so was getting a spiritual director on campus, who could point me to good literature on the subject, and I would have a fine time getting to know God. Conveniently, it won't work logistics-wise for me to find a spiritual director until january, seeing as how this semester's about to end and then I'll be home for a month. So I happily put that particular goal on the back burner. You know how God has a sense of humor? Get this: a seminarian (now deacon) I met on xanga via my old blog years ago (we're talking freshman in highschool) went on my xanga and commented, asking me to email him. I did. He said that he'd been talking with another seminarian who happens to know me (they're both across the world in ROME, btw) and my name had come up. This other seminarian had thought that I was going through some rough times spiritually, and said so. So this seminarian I haven't talked to in years wrote me a long email asking if he could be of any help to me in my spiritual journey, if nothing else as someone to bounce questions off of. Um. So much for my lack of anyone to talk to about how to pray. Then, that night, I (for the first time ever) had about an hour of free time and decided to start one of the many books I brought to college with me. Hiding in a corner of my bookshelf were a few books that I bought at the bookstore at the Basilica in D.C. last winter. I kind of went crazy and bought whatever I thought would interest me. I haven't actually looked at any of them that much. One of them is called Prayer for Beginners by Peter Kreeft. In the introduction, Kreeft says that he himself is still a beginner at prayer, and this book is for those, like him, who feel that they are not good at praying but desire to become much better at it. It makes a lot of sense so far. I'm taking it slowly and hoping to let it sink in.

Um, wow. Way to go, God. Points for being on top of things. And yes, I'll still get a spiritual director next semester (or else some random person might just walk up to me and offer their services as such).

P.S. Zed has totally flatlined. The heat got to be too much for the poor guy, but we can't have the windows open when it hasn't gotten above freezing all week (to my knowledge). His stalks have slumped and his leaves are droopy. All of his flower heads have long since dried up. Water runs straight through him into his little water collecting plate, even though I pour the water in gradually and at different places. He's dead. Just as well, really, because I have no way of caring for him over my month-long break. Still, it's sad.

P.P.S. I guess I haven't mentioned it on here, but I got a job! With the Notre Dame Music Department, involving some office work and lots of running recitals. Weekend hours, but that's probably good for me. I'm excited. Even more so now that all of the nasty tax forms for it are done.