Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Footwear, you disgust me.

Foot fashion sunk to a new low today. My professor wore Heelys to class. For those who have fortunately not encountered them:Heelys (n.): obnoxious shoes with wheels built into the heels so that one can roll around in inline-skate fashion

I didn't even know they MADE adult-sized heelys; I had only seen them on little ones. He wore them primarily because his daughter bought them for him for his birthday, which I can appreciate. I bought my father black, red and gold striped (or were they blue and white checked?) suspenders in Germany, and I have yet to see the man put them to good use. Bad gift choice. But seriously: Heelys? Ew. Not only are they obnoxious and annoying, but apparently dangerous to your health. He complained that his left knee was quite bruised from falling repeatedly when trying to walk; the wheel on the heel often causes your foot to slip out from under you when you aren't rolling, just trying to walk. The pains dads go through for their daughters.

Also on my fashion don't list:
I already despised crocs in general, but fleece-lined crocs?! Are you serious?? I don't care how comfortable they theoretically are (and let me just say that after trying on pairs more than once to see what the big deal is, I'm not impressed), they're ugly.Finally, the bane of my existence: stilettos, 3 inch heels and up. I tried to wear cute strappy silver stilettos once, and let me just say, never again. The human foot is not designed to put so much weight on a pencil-sized point! It's just not feasible! The problem is that some women have trained themselves to endure the pain of walking on tippy-toes for an hour or more, and now all women feel compelled to follow. Fellow women (and cross-dressing men): Do not be so misled! Stilettos lead to heartbreak and broken ankles. End of story.


  1. I concur with items 1 and 2.

    3 has its merits. One hopes you haven't discovered them quite yet.

    In a related note re: #3, I am perplexed by women who get French pedicures. The idea of leaving one's toenails long in order to achieve the look is quite frankly, gross.

    I remember a time in my life when having pretty toes was, while not all-consuming, still pretty high on the hygiene and personal appearance list. I'm still pretty fond of clean feet. Still, I'd sooner put 'em in a pair of fleece-lined Crocs than get a French pedicure.

    On the other hand, perhaps it's time for me to treat myself to a regular pedicure.

  2. I got a pedicure once. I guess it was ok, but not worth the fuss.

    Fashion for me consists of jeans, hoodies, and clogs. Any guy not ok with that is not interesting to me.

  3. A friend once gave me a funny book "How shoes are better than men"...I was young and single at the time. Stilettos like the one pictured were listed under the category "Shoes of Death" Course to me now they would be!